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Here are 110 of the best jokes and one-liners of all time, compiled from our own selection of round-ups, and taken from the mouths of comedy legends past and …I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day. One liner tags: beauty, drug, puns, time, work. 82.58 % / 3550 votes. I got a new pair of gloves today, but they're both 'lefts' which, on the one hand, is great, but on the other, it's just not right. One liner tags: beauty, puns.The Fast Saga has seen enough changes in its style that the series has seemed a little all over the place. However, even before and after the movies shifted focus from racing to action, there were a lot of funny moments to watch. Overall, almost every character has had at least one instance where they were able to make the audience laugh, and these were done in such a way that these quotes ...

40 Hilarious Quotes From The Most Famous People. Neilas Šurkus, Saimonas Lukošius, Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė, Jurgita Dominauskaitė and. Saulė Tolstych. 173. 9. Share. ADVERTISEMENT. Usually, in a group of friends, there is a long list of inside jokes, sayings, and remarks. They are often the funniest words and …One liner tags: christian, puns. 82.62 % / 3844 votes. share. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. One liner tags: car, christian. 82.56 % / 2770 votes. share. Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. One liner tags: christian.My grandma always said "Slow and steady wins the race." She died in a fire. One liner tags: communication, death, sarcastic. 74.92 % / 102 votes. My buddy set me up on a blind date & said, "Heads up, she's expecting a baby." Felt like an idiot sitting in the bar wearing just a diaper. One liner tags: attitude, communication, friendship, puns ...Introduction. Sarcasm, often described as the lowest form of wit, can be the funniest when done right. The art of sarcastic humor is all about delivering clever quips and playful jabs. In this article, we present a collection of witty one-liners that will entertain and amuse you.share. When The Hulk goes off into a vicious rage and destroys everything, he's "Incredible." But when I do it, I'm "an alcoholic." One liner tags: alcohol, life. 47.70 % / 3431 votes. share. I thought it was my birthday cake but it was just the shed on fire. One liner tags: birthday, food, puns, sarcastic. 47.63 % / 126 votes.

5. ADVERTISEMENT. We love our dads endlessly. Dads have certain behavior stereotypes, like how they act at the airport, while watching football, or teaching us to drive. Though a very precious one is dad jokes. Do not confuse them with regular jokes, as dad jokes fall into a completely different category. They are often in the wrong place at ...Teenage Jokes One-Liners That Will Make You Laugh and Give You a Chuckle. Teenage life has many challenges, though aside from these challenges, teens are naturally funny, sarcastic, and clever. They have the ability to turn the most mundane of situations into something funny. Such jokes are best shared with friends in person, yet in place of ... ….

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Dirty one liners. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!" One liner tags: communication, dirty, men, women. 79.76 % / 855 votes.Here are some classic one-liners that golfers have been using for years: "Golf is a game in which you yell 'fore,' shoot six, and write down five.". "They say golf is like life, but don't believe them. Golf is more complicated than that.". "Golf is a game that is played on a five-inch course - the distance between your ears.".

If you own a swimming pool, you know that regular maintenance and occasional repairs are part of the package. One such repair that pool owners often encounter is the replacement of...The entire cast of characters delivery hilarious and lovable quotes throughout the show and one of the best sarcastic characters is David Rose. Although he's sarcastic, David's quotes are hilarious, easily quotable, and some of the most lovable dialogue on the show. We've added another 5 sarcastic-but-lovable David Rose quotes to this list ...

cowboy toyota in dallas One liner tags: christian, puns. 82.62 % / 3844 votes. share. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. One liner tags: car, christian. 82.56 % / 2770 votes. share. Plan ahead - It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark. One liner tags: christian.When my husband decided to up our income by creating an OnlyFans, it really took a load off my back. 9 3. u/mikeshumor. • 4 days ago. The easiest way to figure the cost of living is to take your income and add twenty percent. 19 3. r/oneliners. is elon musk a satanistfannin county news observer You’re like a fine piece of cheese – the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don’t worry, [insert age] isn’t so bad. It’s just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. Happy birthday! You’re like a classic book – everyone still loves you, even if you’re a little outdated. wordle today nyt mini crossword Sarcastic Quotes. 1. “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”. – Steven Wright. 2. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”. 3. “I am not young enough to know everything.”. national weather service radar des moines iowalds distribution center oremohtani schedule Apr 1, 2024 - Explore karenwilliams's board "funny one liners" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, bones funny, funny quotes.32 Hilarious Mitch Hedberg Jokes. The modern king of the one-liners best lines. Mitch Hedberg was truly one of a kind. His nonchalant delivery of his unconventional jokes left us all rolling in ... how to email a text message to atandt One-liners about aging. Indulge in a chuckle with witty one-liners about aging. They'll lift your spirits and bring a smile to your face. 1. You're so old that I heard your social security number is 000-00-0005. 2. You're so old that your back goes out more than you do. 3. By the time you're wise enough to watch your step, you're too ...You're like a fine piece of cheese - the older you get, the more you smell, but people still love you. Happy birthday! Don't worry, [insert age] isn't so bad. It's just a little closer to [insert age plus 20]. Happy birthday! You're like a classic book - everyone still loves you, even if you're a little outdated. ambrosia rimworldaccident on 170 freeway todaya750f transmission Some of Chandler's best one-liners were the ones that weren't on-the-nose, like this gem from season two episode "The One Where Ross and Rachel…. You Know". In this scene, the group is hanging out at Joey and Chandler's and Ross is on the phone with someone from the museum. He starts discussing some display saying that ...I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here. One liner tags: animal, death, rude, sarcastic. 82.22 % / 1639 votes. The only thing more important than your happiness is mine so get on it. One liner tags: happiness, rude. 82.14 % / 626 votes.